Zzzzz...

How can someone be so stupid?

I'm doing the same mistakes again and again and time just shoves me into it.

It's still application time and I'm late again. Whenever there was another deadline I was late and promised myself to do it better the next time. But that never happened. I'm late. Always! And that really annoys me. It just sucks that that I never manage to change myself a little bit!

Endless repetition

It's so enoying! It seems like it never stops!

Whenever I'm at my parents house I just fall in a doom loop.

I eat too much.

I watch too much TV and don't manage to work off the stuff I need to do.

That really sucks and I can't wait to go back to the flat tomorrow!

Now I need to get ready for the party. Yeah!

stuff

Now I moved into the new flat. Different that expectet M. is going to be there and not at Uni, but that's okay. She'll be away for a week sometimes and I'm at home at the weekend so we're not going on each others nerves ^^ 

The flat is so nice the only flaw: The web is going crazy sometimes. So I guess I need to find a Café with Wi-Fi.

On Wednesday I had an accident. My bike hates me, that stupid thing! I hate cycling in the city! Too many cars! Hope I get used to it soon! 

It's all in his hands

Well, this day was so much better than the last ones! 

I was praying last night and on the way to work and that proves again that it all lays in Gods hands. And that he's listening! That's such a great thing to know and so comforting.

The one thing that makes my job ... "alright" is the fact that the nurse Christine is around and we're going along pretty well. So we were chatting today and she told me that she just can't stand the fact that he other staff is just shouting so much and I feld the same. I was very insecure at work from day one and the reason wa

s that I have no, absolutely no experiences with children and for that was looking at the staff to learn but I just couldn't believe in my heart that they're doing it the right way. But I had no idea so was trying to copy it and failed 'course it just didn't worked that well. I was annoyed about myself and the kids could feel it.

Now I'm quite releaved to know that there are other people thinking that it's not so good!

I need to stay calm and stop being angry at the wee ones!

New notebook, new flat, old me

Well, I was looking forward to get my macbook and I always had this stupid picture in my head that after getting it everything would change and I mean everything ! But of course it was naive and stupid and so predictable.

Well, there's still hope. I didn't move in the new flat yet, so there might be change after moving out of my parents house. I need change! Desperately!

The only thing that scares me is, that it all lays in Gods hands, not so much in mine and I just don't know what to do. I mean, I'm just like trapped in old behaviour pattern and that's so tirering! I just have no idea what to do to change it all. I just don't know.